A Better Way to Choose a Vegas Strip Club

[]

If you're looking for information on the best strip clubs in Las Vegas, you just hit the jackpot, Jack. You've found the ultimate Las Vegas guide to girls peeling off their underthings in public.

Las Vegas Topless Clubs, Nude Clubs and More

There are 16 topless gentlemen's clubs in Las Vegas, seven clubs where the girls are on stage fully nude, ten casino shows that feature topless showgirls, bars and nightclubs that feature erotic entertainment, peep shows, swingers' clubs, 10 adults-only topless party pools, and a dozen male revues, including one where the guys dance nude.

We've got strip clubs with such an awesome number of drop-dead gorgeous dancers that the scene rivals the harem of the Sultan of Brunei. We've got strip clubs that offer private VIP rooms where you can close the door and get creative with the dancer of your choice.

We've got high-mileage lap dances, nude bed dances, shower shows, mud and oil wrestling, bikini bull-riding, pretty beaver contests, and Monday night football titty blizzards. We’ve got strip clubs that feature stacked dancers, others that feature big booty, and still others that feature 18-year-olds who can fly around the stripper poles.

We’ve even got high-end legal brothels an hour's drive from Vegas.

As a traveling man, I've been to strip clubs in just about every state in the U.S.—including Alaska and Hawaii—and a lot of other countries as well, and I've never seen another town like this one for strip clubs. The best strip clubs in Las Vegas are some of the best strip clubs in the world.

100% Honest Vegas Strip Club Reviews

At Topless Vegas Online, I cover it all. I give it to you straight and tell you exactly what you can expect. If I like a place, I tell you why. If I don't like a place, I tell you the problem. I list the prices for everything, and whether or not I think they're worth it.

Las Vegas Strip Club Costs, Etiquette, Slang and Local Laws

I also fill you in on how to avoid getting ripped off by the tourist traps, and provide tricks the locals use to have maximum fun at minimum cost. And if you're new to the Vegas strip club scene, you'll find guides to Las Vegas strip club etiquette, tipping advice, slang, and local laws.

How to Get the Most from Topless Vegas Online

If you're not familiar with Vegas strip clubs, start with the articles under "Strip Club Survival Guide" at the left. Once you know whether you're looking for a topless or nude club, or some other adult entertainment, check out the "Best Of's" at the top left. Click on our calendar at the top left to see what special events will be going on while you'll be in town.

Once you've narrowed down the clubs or shows that you're most interested in, check out their individual reviews for detailed information, hours, prices, and location. And don't forget to check out the free round-trip limo transport offered by many of the clubs. The clubs give free admission when you arrive at their club by their limo, no strings attached. That can save you $70+ to enjoy the pleasures of the establishment.

This Weekend in the Vegas Strip Clubs

Thursday, November 20

Big Booty Party

Club Lacy’s presents Urban Women Night (Thursday through Saturday nights), the wildest, highest-mileage, all-nude big booty strip club party in Las Vegas. Doors and bar open at 9:30. The show starts promptly at 11 pm, when each of the Club Lacy’s dancers gets on stage one at a time to introduce the audience to her personal twerking style. (Club website)  Couples and female friendly.  Call 702-327-7258 for the free club limo.

Read more…

Just in Time for the Holidays:
A Pole Dancer for Your Ride

dashboard pole dancer4Lola the Pole Dancer is just the dashboard ornament you’ve been searching for to replace that old hula girl. Decked out in a red thong bikini and platform heels, she spins on the pole as you drive and high-fives you on every successful parallel park.

Lola mounts to your dash (or desktop or coffeemaker or wherever the hell you want her) with double-sided foam tape (included). She’s only $8 from Custom Creations.

For other holiday gift ideas, see: Sexy Pole Dancer Sweater, The Lego Foxy Blox Strip Club, and Liquid Lapdance Pants.
End-Girl

Vegas Strip Club News – More Mileage, Free Thanksgiving Dinner, Open Bar and More

New Club Rules at Palomino Say On to 2nd Base

Palomino Club has added “Club Rules” to their website, which you can find on their home page. Of most interest to readers of this site is Rule Number 3:  “No need to sit down on your hands during private dances.” Okay, we locals know that, but for you out-of-towners who come from no-touch states, that means 2nd base allowed at this nude club (dancer always gets final say).  Be gentle and have fun.  Call 702.327.7258 for the free club limo and get free admission.

Free Thanksgiving Feast at Little Darlings

Little Darlings (club review / club website) will be serving a complete Thanksgiving feast—FREE—on the big day from 6 pm to 8:30 pm. Enjoy Thanksgiving dinner with some of Las Vegas’ most beautiful dancers, then settle in for a night of nude dancing instead of football.  (Little Darlings will have all the games showing on their TVs if you need to keep track of which bets you’re winning and losing.)  For free admission to the club, use the coupon on our home page below the top blog post.  Call 702.371.2181 for the free club limo.

Open Bar and Hors D’Oeuvres Coming at Sapphire Anniversary Party

Here’s a heads-up on a coming anniversary party at Sapphire (club review / club website): On Thursday night, Dec 11, Sapphire will celebrate “Martinis and Masquerade,” its 12th Anniversary Party.   Masks will be provided to guests.  More important, there will be an open bar and hors d’oeuvres from  8-10 pm.

There will be multiple food and liquor vendors sponsoring the party, and all of the vendors’ food and booze will be free.

I’ll remind you of this event again as it gets closer to the date.  Free snacks and booze plus gorgeous dancers.  I will see you there, through my mask.

Call 702.869.0003 for the club limo and get free admission.  The limo reservation fee is $10, but the fee will be waived if you purchase a buy-1-get-1-free drink coupon or a bottle.

Read more…

Update on Vegas Strip Club Cabbie Kickbacks

DV Showgirls limo

Deja Vu Showgirls’ Limo Dropping off a Customer Who Pays Nothing for the Ride and No Entry Fee

The amount the Vegas strip clubs have to pay cab drivers for dropoffs has a lot to do with both the prices the clubs charge customers (especially out-of-towners) and the deals they offer to customers who take their club limos instead of cabs. So, I’ve been following this story closely for the past five years, which was when the kickbacks (spiffs) paid to cabbies first went out of control.

The Courthouse News Service recently ran a story on the Vegas cabbies’ “spiff” system, “Kickbacks: the Las Vegas Way of Life.” The article discusses the kickbacks that cabbies get for dropping off customers primarily at strip clubs and massage parlors.

Most interesting to me was a reference to a website called CabDash, where cabbies can check the current kickbacks offered by the various strip clubs and massage parlors (plus a few other businesses that pay small kickbacks—like shooting ranges, liquor stores, golf stores, etc.).

Read more…

Just in Time for the Holidays: Sexy Pole-Dance Sweater

xmas sweater2I found this item over at Stupid.com (one of my hangouts). Their motto is: “Superb Quality. Exceptionally Ugly.”

This sweater is part of their “Ugly Christmas Sweater in a Box” collection, which includes other sweater classics like a pooping moose and a zombie Santa. I’m giving Stupid a free plug here because when I look at this sweater, I feel the holiday spirit.

It’s the perfect gift for the man who already has Liquid Lap Dance Pants.

The pole dancers sweater is 100% cotton.  Price:  $44.99.  Sizes from S to XXL.  Stupid also sells a wide selection of even more idiotic gifts, all at good prices.
End-Girl

Baby Got Back (and it only cost her $10K)

Last summer I talked with a dancer at Sapphire’s Topless Pool who told me she was having surgery on her ass the next day. She was a petite, slender Asian dancer with huge knockers, obviously enhanced. I asked her what was wrong with her butt.

“It’s too small,” she said.

I asked her to turn around so I could see it. She was wearing a thong and she had an absolutely gorgeous ass.

“It’s perfect,” I said.

“No,” she said. “Guys like it bigger.”

jennifer-lopez-butt-optimized

JLo Butts – Coming to a Strip Club Near You

I was unaware of the fact that tens of thousands of women all over the country were getting “butt jobs,” but she explained it to me.  I’ve since learned that last year more than 11,000 women in the U.S. paid somewhere in the neighborhood of $10,000 for a “Brazilian butt lift,” a type of plastic surgery where fat is removed from a woman’s stomach and back and injected into her butt. Another 13,000 who wanted more butt than their own stomach fat could provide had silicone butt implants.

Is the U.S. going to become another Brazil, where there’s a hugely popular annual beauty pageant to pick Miss Bum Bum Brazil? Butts are so popular in Brazil that plastic surgeons there reported 63,000 butt enhancement surgeries last year. At that rate, the entire female population of Rio will soon be walking around the beaches with fake asses (and you thought all those Brazilian babes looked like that naturally?).

Read more…